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Photo credit: Mike Durbin |
This most is a little more like a journal entry than a blog
post. I just needed to post some of my few memories about my friend who lost
her battle with multiple myeloma yesterday, but on her own terms.
These last couple of days have been surprisingly emotional
for me. I had the privilege of attending HealtheVoices19 in Dallas, TX earlier
this year. At this conference, I learned more about health advocacy and had a
chance to meet other health advocates. This conference was one of those rare
opportunities to bond with other attendees very quickly and on a much deeper
level than at other conferences.
On my first day there, I specifically remember meeting a beautiful
lady with short gray hair. Cherie was very quick to correct me when I assumed
that gray was her natural hair color. She said it in such a matter of fact way
that I couldn’t possibly be offended.
Throughout the weekend, I talked to her a few times. We didn’t
necessarily talk about our advocacy work, but just about the conference and the
fact that we have children of the same age.
Saturday night was open mic night and she stood up to speak.
She was reading a poem written by her youngest. Much of this was about how
Cherie’s journey with cancer, specifically multiple myeloma, had affected their
relationship. While Cherie had been in remission for some time, she let us know
that just the week before attending HealtheVoices19, her cancer had returned.
If you told me that there was a dry eye in that room when she was standing on
stage, I wouldn’t believe it.
After we all went our separate ways, we got in touch with
each other on Facebook. Although we all have different chronic conditions, we follow
each other’s journeys. Since this conference, I no longer simply follow those
with the conditions that I have because I see that we all have very similar
paths.
Cherie’s prognosis was not good. She did not have long to
live. She opted to move to Colorado where Death with Dignity was an option for
her. Cherie didn’t want to die a slow, painful death, but instead to make the
choice for herself.
Her family and friends posted a video on Facebook on that
last day of her life. It felt like an honor to have been able to watch this
video and participate in those last moments of her life. I watched her daughter
and son hold her hands and cry. I cried with them.
It was hard for me to sleep last night. I kept thinking
about how hard it must have been to take that medication that ended her life.
She knew well what was happening and wasn’t afraid of it. As Cherie always
said, “it was all about love, anyway.”
I told Cherie several times in the last few weeks that I
will never forget her. She took charge of her health. She made the decisions. I’m
so proud to have known her.
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